Scones....

So I've been here in Vancouver for nearly 4 years now ( I know, who can believe it!?) and when I first arrived I went through several week long phases where I would obsessively bake anything that reminded me of New Zealand.

One week it was 2 dozen pink and brown lamingtons, which I took to work to wow the colleagues with, one week it was 3 dozen anzac biscuits, and for work last summer when I was catering meals for our summer program, I managed (with the help of Jana and a very large industrial stand mixer) 8 dozen mini pavlovas in one night.  I even started (for 4 months) a out of my kitchen meat pie company, aptly named Kiwigirl Pies, and marketed my wares to Mark's more than willing rugby teammates.

But I couldnt' do scones. Since I was a kid I was scared of them, so simple, yet so easy to mess up. I remember telling so many people "yup, I can bake just about anything,just not a decent scone" sad. And I called myself a kiwi.

But then, after flatting with several north americans I discovered American "biscuits". Hang on, this looks somewhat like a scone. Except more complex and with more stuff in it.....

hmmm, maybe, just maybe, if I can do these I MIGHT be able to pull off a scone....

And now I can.  Oat and Honey scones, Raisin scones, savoury chicken herb scones, and plain old "put some jam and cream on it" scones....

It's a beautiful and simple thing, yummy warm scones out of the oven....mmmmmmm

Flakey at best...

I feel sick.

Today we watched "Human Trafficking" (2005 Christian Duguay) and now I don't want to go to bed. The title is not a pun or hint. It's a movie about the trafficking of humans for sex around the world.

I can feel my brain, overfull, heavy between my ears, full of noise and pictures and thoughts that I don't want. Numbers and faces and facts and realities of the (dont' be offended now) SHIT that goes on in this world.

And the scary thing is that I've felt this way before.

It's 11.30, so the timing is pretty much perfect, but this time I'm sitting at home, at my computer with only 3 roommates at home, already in bed, and I'm alone. Last time, I was in my tiny corner of my DTS home with my 14 other roommates all clamouring and crying and trying to work through our horror after watching "Hotel Rwanda" during Jamie's Missional Living week.  

I thought I would puke then too.

The numbers of people, the faces, the pain, the depravity of the human soul that looks on another as a means of profit, something to be bought or traded, and enough to justify murder and abuse and lose of childhood and innocence. That one human being is worth more than another.

I ache, knowing that while both "Human Trafficking" and "Hotel Rwanda" are fictional films, both are only too true to the harsh realities of this world, and I have cried so many tears, then and now and so many days in between, desperate for mercy, retribution, justice.....

And yet....I know I've been here before, so tomorrow, I know I'll feel better.

On the assumption that I manage to fall asleep soon, I'll wake up tomorrow, only a few nightmares worse for wear, I'll pray a little, I'll start my day, and slowly, every day, it'll fade a little more, until I feel better again.

But those girls will still be there......the hopeful mail order brides to be will still burn with betrayal when their internet love sells them as a slave......the child who's parent sells them to a "talent recruiter" will still be there, in the hope of a better future.....the 'sex tourists' that plan brothels like trips to the beach or the museum as part of their vacation itinerary will still be there.....the internet, the street walkers, the pimps, the Johns, their wives.....it'll all still be there.....

How does it line up?

I remember being told when I was younger that I was a flake.  So quick to feel deep emotion, cry and let my heart bleed, and then pick up again until the next crisis. Valley to valley, never thinking how to change that valley, or being able to be at peace that the place I am in, has valleys enough, and I can't commit to it all, I can't cry for it all, no matter how deeply i feel it, how much it hurts.....So now I feel flakey at best.....waiting for tomorrow....

Moving on....

It's so strange....I'm writing this as I sit in my kitchen, while several people traipse through as part of our land lord's house viewing.

It's nearing the 6 week mark of when we will sadly leave this beautiful house, and move on to all the different paths that we are taking, and close this chapter of our lives.  It's been an interesting 2 years at 2736 East Georgia.  2 engagements, a couple of breakups, lots of coffee, tears and laughter, many late nights, parties, dinners, hugs, kisses, hundreds of loads of laundry, many barbeques, and more grumpy PMS days than we'd like to admit to!

But I know that I know that each of us is moving on a little older, a little more ready to face the world out there, and a little more close to each other and (I hope) to God, and an understanding of what community missional living can mean.

I ate perogie casserole for the first time in this house, I was proposed to in this house, and I've cooked 4 turkeys in this house, just to name a few milestones that have come to pass....

And now I'm getting married.

I'm leaving this house to move to my first house as Mrs. Mark Bergshoeff, which is exciting and scary and funny and strange and confusing and wonderful and.......you get the idea.

Who knew that on May 29th, 2005 I would be starting this journey, stepping on a plane, leaving New Zealand, and stepping into such a big chapter of my life here on the other side of the world. Vancouver is not quite the antipode of Auckland (http://www.antipodemap.com/) but it certainly feels like I have flown further from the nest than I originally planned.

Saying that though, in that (nearly) 4  years, I HAVE been to the antipode, to Spain, and to Morocco, to Scotland, England, Malaysia, Indonesia, Singapore, Australia, and the USA. 

What an adventure.......

oh, and p.s.: I know I don't blog much, so check for more frequent updates on our new wedding website for the Hillary and Mark Bergshoeff famiy...

Spiritually Dehabituate

Spiritually Dehabituate  "breaks us out of old habits, awaken the soul from inertia, renew spiritual energy and insight, and redefine us as people who live 'awed' lives".

(Kendra Creasy Den Practicing Passion)

Don't know about you, but that's a good thing to read Monday morning, to reflect and pray and ask God for a moment today to 'spiritually dehabituate' my day to day.  

I'm trying to get back into my old habit of getting up early (6.30?) and staying awake and productive and enjoying the quiet and solitude of the dark winter morning.  For those of you who have done the communal housing thing, you will know what that quiet hour feels like before any of your 4 flatmates stir...That peace and dark calm that rests on the house, while everyone sleeps.  Solitude has always been a hard one for me, the fierce extrovert in me fights it with every fibre, equating it with loneliness, with emptiness, with silence. But, when I perservere, fight from retreating to my duvet and pillow, I find in that quiet the comfort and companionship of my Saviour.  How long has he been sitting in my living room waiting for me to wake up?

Last year, 2008 that is, saw me participating in my friend Gwen's trial bible study project for her thesis.  It was so good to work through the Gospel of Matthew, page by page, chapter by chapter, reading the words and meditating on the words and actions of my Lord, starting my day journalling out the busy thoughts so I could focus again on the one who is always supposed to be front and centre in my field of view.

May today be a day to spiritually dehabituate, to break out, to stretch your weary soul up to the sun, and remember the awe you felt the first day you realised God loved you.

So it's cold

I know for most of my Canadian readers you are already digging in your pockets for your 'smallest violin in the world' and your stories of 40 below and polar bears, but now is the time you cut the Kiwi some slack and let me feel cold.
Because for a half Chinese, half Hobbit such as myself, -8 with a windchill to -13 is really cold. And ice isn't fun either!
Ok enough of that.
Things here are going well, busy busy busy, especially as we prepare our students to head out on field assignment on Christmas Eve!! yipes, who thought of that idea? oh yeah, me. doh.
It's the season of Christmas parties and snow fights and carols and candles. We had our church candlelight christmas carol service on Sunday, and even though I was (literally) enrobed the entire time in my rather frumpy blue yellow and white choir robes it was a really good night, full of music and love and reading the Bible! So good for my soul.
Why is it that we so underestimate reading the Bible? I have been really trying to check myself in this area and apply myself more, and my dear friend Gwen has been helping me a lot. She is doing her thesis project at St Stephens University and part of it is writing a devotional, focusing one day on each chapter of the 4 gospel books. 90 days for 90 chapters. I have been one of the guinea pigs for the project, and the simple application of the Word of God has really had a profound effect on my morning routine and the rest of my day. Why did I never apply myself before? Why am I STILL slack sometimes? Why is it always the things that are best for us that we let fall by the wayside the fastest?
I'm excited it's nearly Christmas. It's a good time to reflect and learn and rest and revel in the love and friendship that we have in our lives. It's a sip of cold water along the way (though maybe hot water would be better for me right now) and can bring refreshment we never even though possible. It'll be my 4th Christmas away from NZ, strange I know, but if I am somewhat on to it, you Kiwis should get your Christmas cards before Valentine's :)
Gotta go get ready for work.
Lots of love
Hillary

what!?!?

Two posts in one day?!?! holy cow, it can't be right.

Today I have been thinking about how annoying it is that boys can just turn off their brains whenever I want. Like that Seinfeld sketch where he says that as a man he is simply 'walking around, looking around' thinking about NOTHING. like really truly NOTHING. Not girl nothing where it's really something but we just don't want to talk about, but actually really nothing.

Boy nothing. I still don't get it.

Today has been emo, and busy, and I'm tired, feeling like I was very busy, but didn't get much done, and I really am waiting to move on to the next phase, the next season, the next SOMETHING.

So I have been meditating on a prayer today, mulling it over, turning it round, and frankly, well, I love this prayer.

I used to pray it when I was younger, and today, I desperately felt the words.....

Dear God,

So far today I've done all right.

I haven't gossiped, and I haven't lost my temper.

I haven't been grumpy,nasty or selfish.

But in a few minutes, God,I'm going to get out of bed

and that is when I'm going to need a lot of help.

Amen

Yup, it's time to go to bed again....

It's the most wonderful time of the year....

Or so they say.

Why is it that Christmas has become this huge swirling vortex of money-spending-line-jumping-pushing-demanding-frenzied-consumption that is sucking out all the goodness and fun from what was supposedly the most wonderful time of the year?

I recently joined a Facebook event to celebrate 'Buy Nothing Day', and have been really enjoying some of the conversations that have come out of this. Sure it could be yet another band wagon to jump on, but if I'm going to be on a wagon this is a pretty good one. And I'm totally guilty of randomly buying stuff just because it's 'cute' or 'fun' or 'perfect!' or 'just what i NEED!' But here's to change and broadening horizons right??

There is a section of the page where people have contributed art work, illustrating their feelings about the cause. My favourite is this one:

There are some other really interesting ones on there too, check it out.

And see, now I'm waiting for everyone to say one of two things:
1) you're just a grouchy missionary who doesn't want to give people stuff and has no money so of course you're whinging about buy Christmas presents
or
2) you're just a hippy grinch of a missionary who is using Jesus to back up whatever cause you feel strongly about today.

Now I am the first to say that everything on this blog is just 'in my humble opinion' and I'm totally open to discussion, so please if you want to talk leave a comment and we'll get something going here. And you know what, it's strange to be here, feeling this strongly about something, especially when I LOVE gifts.
Yup you read right. The anti Christmas Grinchy missionary LOVES gifts!!! Now how does that work?
Well check out this other piece of art work from the same site:

Gifts are great. gifts are fun. I've been planning Mark's Christmas gift for 5 weeks now, I'm desperately trying to put together little things for family, friends and supporters, all across the world, and while I have the added financial considerations to make given my choice of occupation right now, what better catalyst for really getting off my butt and doing some of that creative stuff I keep talking about.

And don't tell me you can't be creative. Don't tell me you can't make or bake or sew or draw or sing or build, or even hug for the people that you love. You have something to give.
Before you swipe, take a deep breath and count to 20 and see if there could just be a way around buying that one more thing.....

Grey day in Vancouver....

That was an intentional spelling mistake. A spelling mistake placed as a tribute to the newest DVD addiction for Jana and I, Grey's Anatomy. We are systematically going through all the episodes in chronological order, all started because I got a voucher for 2 free rentals at Rogers Video. 11 episodes later.......

Anyways
That was a really emo post I did last week wasn't it? Well I mean, emo and sick aside (they prayed for me in staff meeting this morning, and I haven't coughed for 2 hours! a new record for the month) I still don't think it was unjustified.

I had kind of forgotten about it, until Crystal commented this morning (thanks for helping me feel like someone out there might be reading my rantings occaisionally) and reread it to see what damage I had inflicted on cyber space. It's not so bad

In other news, I joined my church choir yesterday. Now this may seem silly to some of you, or perhaps a little nerdy, but it was great fun, and so good to hang out with some of the fun people at church that I normally don't see very much. We have a great conductor (Janet is a musical legend) and we have a fun selection of music to learn over the next few months preparing for performances etc. The first big performance day is Thanksgiving, so it's not much time to practice. I'm 1st soprano again which is a bit of a shock, but I felt great after the 2 hours I spent in our funny old church hall. See Mr Gordon, I knew I could amount to SOMETHING musically.......

BTW, for any of you reading who are wondering how Mark and I are doing, we are good, and I just thouhgt I'd take this opportunity in public to say how awesome he is, he suprised me at work on Wednesday night, and invited me over for a candlelight dinner, and after we were done, put some music on and danced!!! We love to dance, and even though we haven't brushed up on our ballroom skills recently, we laughed a lot. And then I bought him an icecream cuz I lost a bet about the quickest way to walk to church (he beat me by 150metres). Ahhh, love.......

Speaking of Mark, I've been adopted as team photographer for the Scribes Rugby Team (east van proud baby!) and will be taking lots of pics (probablyin the rain) this saturday in Richmond. anyone wanna come keep me company while the boys are on the field getting muddy? I'm gonna bring pies............

Hiatus...

Though, I guess that isn't really the correct term given that to consider this a break would have meant that there was regularly something happening here, and the absence of such could have been termed a hiatus....
Sigh
That's just semantics I guess, born of late night emo....
I wish I would post on here more, keep to my wish of keeping you updated, filling you in, keeping in touch, doing my share... but then sometimes I wonder if I have anything real to say, or if I say anything too real if I will let the wrong thing out of the bag, let my guard down too far, and someone out there will see right through me....
It's been a long time since I wrote on this blog, and even now I think back to a conversation I had with a colleague here who said "I always read people's blogs here now, I find that there's one story I get face to face and one that they write on their blog. One has to be a lie, cuz it's always the opposite of what the other one is...I just have to figure out which one...."
I don't think it's so much a lie, just the safe warm blanket of anonymity...(thank you mission impossible writers) and the fact you can say whatever you please without having to see a quivering lip or a pitying eye or someone's baffled wonderment at the oddness of your behaviour or situation.....It's a selfish cathartic noise....release.....putting yourself out there without instant reprisal....
I'm sick, and some of this rant probably comes from the combination of Buckleys, vicks, throat spray and Advil cold and sinus gel tabs (2) that i just took in an effort to sleep. this post though is evidence to the aforementioned medicines ineffectiveness.
It's strange. After 3 weeks of stress and busy and worry and thinking and trying desperately to trust and wait out the storm, now in the calm that lies after, I'm just left feeling sick and spent, and wondering now what to do. The thing about a fight is that you are so busy watching for the next onslaught and anticipating the next move, ducking and slashing, that the stillness of peace, and the settling of dust, make you even more edgy than you began.......I'm back to the feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop..waiting for what you really deserve, are scared to admit, that you are really found out......

It's a newsletter

Well it may have taken me the entire first half of the year, but I have finally finished my newsletter.
If you want to receive it and haven't then flick me an email, or post a comment on here with your email address.
Much love, Hillary

Creativity...

So I know it's been a while since I've blogged, I keep having these little bursts where I will suddenly post every day and then it's hit and miss again, but here goes for starting the trend again. Sadly though the trend is restarting because of a severe case of creative block.

We are planning a promo tour again, this time a couple of weeks in the greater Vancouver area, going to Christian schools.
It's a great time, and always fun to talk to the kids and hear all their ideas and dreams and know that not all that long ago I was thinking the same things.

I hate feeling like this, the sun is out and I'm in the office, I am here by myself right now, and the cement walls are cold, my injured foot is aching, and I can't seem to focus. Wow, whinge somemore Hillary....

I think the thing is often that I feel insecure, and so want help, but then am too proud to ask for help, knowing that the people I can ask are all obviously better than me at EVERYTHING and therefore feeding all the crappy insecurity lies that are spinning in my head. Wow, convoluted huh.

On happier things, Mark and I have been going to the gym now for just over 5 weeks, 3 times a week, for about 1 1/2-2 hours at a time. Some days we would throw in a bit of jogging/rugby ball stuff, but mostly we just go, plug in our iPods and let the sweat flow. I'm doing a lot of cardio stuff, where Mark is doing 90% weights to bulk up for rugby, and so we don't really see much of each other while we are there, but it's been good for us. The discouraging thing at the moment is that while I am feeling a lot healthier (my insane skeleton shaking cough is gone) and am sleeping well and eating really well, according to my 1500calories a day plan, and yet I'm still not seeing the 'wow i am happy i feel and look skinnier' results that i want. i know i should be patient, but i think it's just been one of those days. Gah.

The strange thing is how quickly anxiety can turn into relaxation and vice versa in a few short hours.
It was my birthday on Sunday (wow 24 already) my third birthday on Canadian shores, and it's hard to believe that all that time has already gone past, and looking back at what has happened, it's been a very full three years.
Mark took me away for a long weekend, to a small town called Kelowna, in the Okanagan Valley, about 4 hours drive from here. Was the most relaxed and rested and taken care of that I've felt in a very very long time. We had a great time. Thanks for being amazing Mark. I love you!

Ok, back to work, maybe when I actually get this video done, I'll post it on here and you can all give me some feedback. That would be helpful I think.

Here's to being happier tonight.....

The thing with advice...

So the thing with advice is that you don't want to accept the good stuff, because it almost always hurts, and it usually means that something has to change. I am ok with change. Though it's a challenge. Like building character and losing weight, it takes time and effort.

Oscar Wilde put it, 'you should always pass on good advice, it's the only sensible thing to do with it', and in another play Mrs Cheavley chided someone for giving her advice, saying 'you should never give a woman anything she can't wear in the evening.' But then, that's just silly isn't it.

Sometime though you have to work through things, make the mistakes, hear the advice, ignore some of it, try things out and just learn the hard way. And yet, advice from a friend, the word of a sage, the suggestion of a parental type or the hug of a caring boyfriend, can just make those decisions and thoughts a little easier.

All this to say I listened to a song from my past today, almost entirely made up of pieces of advice, things the writer wanted to tell us, the class of 1999.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering
experience…I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you
imagine.

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you

Sing

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with
people who are reckless with yours.

Floss

Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes
you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe
you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t
congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your
choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body,
use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever
own..

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

(Brother and sister together we'll make it through
Someday your spirit will take you and guide you there
I know you've been hurting, and I know I've been waiting to be there
for you. And I'll be there, just tell me now, whenever I can.
Everybody's free.)

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for
good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live
in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will
look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen…

Music for the heartstrings

So I don't know what your thoughts are on music downloads, intellectual property rights, copyrights, or any of that, and I'm not really feeling like opening a debate right now given I have a fairly rhythmic headache at the moment, but I thought I'd draw your attention to a website, and dedicate my playlist of the day to all of you out there, a soundtrack for my tired head and pensive heart.
www.seeqpod.com is a little website I was introduced to yesterday, and it really is quite lovely. Since reformatting my dear lappy 'Marvin' and rechristening 'Ernie' I haven't had a chance to put any of my music back on my computer and the lack of musical accompaniment in my life has been taking it's toll. And now, there's Seeqpod. It's a searchable database of songs, where you can log in for free (very simple 5 line form) and then you can search songs, create and save playlists, and listen to the songs online. It's not completely full proof, I couldn't find my favourite J-Pop classic Shizuka Na Hibi No Kaidan Wo but, then again, maybe that's asking a little too much.
So below is the playlist of songs that I've been working to, enjoy.
Love, Hillary


SeeqPod - Playable Search

Sigh......Vancouver

So now that I have opened the valve of blogging thoughts, it's now beginning to make my fingers twitch on a regular basis towards my bookmark for blogger, and I'm feeling the urge to write more to my hopefully still faithful readers.
Thanks for the comment Philip. I'm glad someone still reads this.
Today has been interesting. I really feel like I'm leading a double life sometimes. I have two halves of me that live in tension, feeding off one another, and growing together, but never quite syncing to make me complete. Two very distinct halves that have forgotten how to interact completely. Why is that?
I was reading a couple of other blogs today, and have borrowed the following video from my amazing Mark's blog and can't help but share his joy in marveling at this little piece of our beautiful Vancouver online. It's a sweet reminder on an otherwise slow and blustery day of the amazing place I am fortunate enough to live in, and how much I am sure that my life is here, even if I'm not always sure of what that life will always look like.
I'm going to start remodeling this blog, and update links and stuff, and hopefully even work out a way of posting my newsletters! woah. Maybe. We'll see.
Enjoy my lovely city for today...

Love
Hillary

2008.....really?

So I know it's terrible that my last post was well back in December, and it's already March, but I'm going to turn over a new leaf and start again.
My computer is rendering, meaning that it's kinda hard for me to do much else right now, so here goes.
To summarise and get you up to speed again...

1. I am back in Vancouver after 2 months in NZ.
2. I am back in YWAM Vancouver, tying up a lot of loose ends, aiming to be running, full steam ahead by April.
3. I am still living in the same beautiful house, with my beautiful mishmash house family, trying to keep on keeping on living and learning together.
4. I am trying to make some big decisions about what is going to be coming up next.

I will be updating this more regularly, maybe by marking on my calendar and BLOGDAY you know, like tuesday or wednesday, to make sure i'm more regular.
We'll see....
Here's some pics of life back in Vancouver now, for NZ pics, check out Facebook.
Love
Hillary

Stu, Jacqui, Melissa, Thomas and Mark and I all eating our faces off at Memphis Blues

Mark, his cousin Jen and me all at Canada Place when she came to visit

And it's actually happening...

After months of "planning" it's actually happening and we are getting on the bus in a little over three hours.
I'm a little wired, my hands are shaking a bit from lack of sleep, but I'm excited now that I know I've signed off on work and done what I need to do and now I'm ready to go.
I have a bad feeling though, (though it's probably exhaustion paranoia) so if it come to mind, please pray for us as we travel. For our bags, for good border crossings, for nice people along the way and for a good, fun time for the two of us.
Yipes, next post from Ontario!
Love you lots like jelly tots
Hill

It's that time again

So my last post started out "In a month I'll be in Ontario"
Now I'm amazed to say that I'm going to be in Ontario in less than 5 days! And in NEW ZEALAND in LESS THAN 15 days!!!!!
I can't really even believe it and while I'm alternating between really really excited and a "little bit" stressed, I know overall that it's going to be a great two months ahead.

A big part of this two months is also going to be seeing supporters and friends and people who have really been walking through this last 18 months with me, and as part of that I have new pictures for my Christmas cards!

So as a sneak preview, here you go!

Love you
And see you soon!

It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas...

So in a month I'll be in Ontario.
And a week after that I'll be in Auckland.
My how time flies.

There has been a lot of talk about Christmas around here recently, and a lot of talk particularly about Christmas food and Christmas movies.
Now I've never really thought intentionally about the "Christmas movie" but it appears that that has been a rather large oversight on my part.
Apparently there are loads of Christmas themed theatrical experiences that I have been missing out on, and my life is apparently not complete without.
So this Christmas, under the careful tutelage of my dear Mark I will be educated in the art of Christmas film. In preparation for that I am having an afternoon time out watching 'Love Actually' which now, given that we are classifying everything all the time, is my favourite Christmas movie. Amen

Also, I'm going to look for a recipe for Brandy snaps... mmmmmmm Christmas will be complete.

Life is going really well here at the moment, and while I wish I had new pictures to chow you, I sadly have not taken any. Again, oversight. We are going out tonight though, so I will try and remedy the situation and get some good pics for you to see.

Also, while we didn't win the most recent competition we entered we did make a really good video, and you can watch it on:

www.becausewecan.tv

I did a whole morning of filming today, helping on of the families on base with making a video letter to send to their supporters for Christmas, and it was really fun to be behind the camera again. I know I have been doing video stuff a lot in the last few months with because we can stuff, but at the same time, it's different (not better or worse, just different) to be doing a project by myself, and making something for someone, my way, with my skills. I love working with Mark and Leigh and Wade, and I really enjoy learning from them and doing what we do, being creative and being 'the girl' on the shoots, it can be a lot to take in and take on. So yeah, tired as I am right now, it's been a good day...plus I get to go on a date today so that makes it even better!

Ok, will follow up with pictures soon.

Love you

Once a month... and tagged!

So I'm again posting once a month (does anyone even read this anymore....?) and Angela 'tagged' me, and since I've never been 'tagged' before, I figure I'll play along......

As many of you who know me know, I have 2 last names, so I took the easiest route and went with Rose... (much less letters to think of than the chinese name, which technically isn't letters at all......) so here goes...

R - Romantic - and I mean that in the fullest sense of that loaded word. Check it out on http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/romantic
I want to live a full and creative life, willing to "subordinate form to content" to emphasise emotion, capture the imagination, sing, laugh, live musically, create, bring life and colour, celebrate in the ordinary, to be fabulous, and love extravagantly.

O - Original and Open - Well at least that's what I'm shooting for.... I think I choose these words because I want to be original and open. I know God made me unique and special and without baggage and insecurity and fear, but sometimes I am scared that I'm really just a bit ordinary and quite a bit closed. And I'm scared that that will lead to boring. But as someone wise once said to me, I can choose not to let that happen. So here's to my best shot :)

S - Senses - I like to see, hear, taste, touch and smell my world, and I'm often driven by my reactions to those things, occasionally to my detriment ,when I'm overwhelmed with a feeling and don't think my reactions through entirely. But sometimes there's so much art and life and colour and love in a smell or a touch or a taste or a look that I can't resist it. And some senses surprise you, communication in sign instead of words or hearing someone come into a room by their scent, or tasting a memory in a foreign land.

E - Emotional - Again, not in a throw away 'oh you're so emotional' way, but more to say that I think I get through a lot of this life by feeling my way out, rather than always thinking the problem through or following a map. There's good and bad points to it, people have always said I have a big heart, and while to love deeply means to have the best memories and laughs and beautiful, I know it means that I've hurt deeply and cried much, and some days just felt sad or so angry I could knee cap someone (I'm sorry that I did that once, you know who you are, thank you for forgiving me...) But I'm learning that it's ok, and I'm incredibly blessed to have a lot of people around me who have cried with me, laughed with me, tickled me when I needed it and said that I didn't, write me amazing and beautiful words and who I know, even when I have my doubts, give me and take my love. Thank you.

So, four words and 30 minutes later it's time for bed.
I tag......Rebecca Joy, Krista Ann, Jacqui Brooke and Laura Rosalind.......

Love you much

videos and viruses

Ok, so no viruses that I know of yet, but it was a nice alliteration.
I have been feeling sick all night, and even though I have an amazing sweet wonderful man to help me forget how sick I'm feeling, now that I'm sitting here without him I feel kinda yucky again.
Hopefully I'll feel better by tomorrow morning. I'm gonna be busy tomorrow.
On the video front, I'm excited to report that we did well on the XLNT video competition and now you can watch our award winning videos on our wicked awesome video website

www.becausewecan.tv

Our video making partner in crime, Leigh, his wife Angela, and our friends Ryan, Wade, Ralph, Nick, Aubrey and Jill all went to the very last Saturday of the Richmond night market. Lots and lots and LOTS of chinese video stalls, music stalls, and FOOD STALLS. My favourite part.
Spicy BBQ squid is your friend....

In other news, it's been a good couple of weeks with the DTS, they are all so great, and so fun to be around, and I am really enjoying getting to know them. They are from all around the place, 22 different students from all around the world, all here to learn about God and missions and it's been really exciting to see that they are already changing. Even though it's only week 2.

Oooooo and Jill is back in town! She is studying at Trinity Western University, so instead of being in Alberta and far far away from here, she is now close and we get to hang out lots. It's fun.
We went to see a hockey game last week. Our team lost badly unfortunately but it was still a fun night.
See, lots of fun...Mark and I having fun at the hockey......
And this is just Mark and I being Mark and I. Yup. Cute huh.


Anyways, I'm about to go to bed, I'm sleepy and sick.
Sigh